Our experiences are a massive influence on how we behave. Some people are more sensitive to what is going on around them, while others seem to be immune. Those who display great self-confidence in every situation find they can connect more easily with others while feeling secure.
Self-doubt can be a controlling voice, a voice that pretends to come from a place of reason and honesty but is only holding you back. It is there because sometimes being aware of your limitations keeps you safe—but being too safe looks a lot like being stuck.
Sincerity and Self Doubt
Sometimes we meet someone who seems like they cannot stop to consider their words. They may call it sincerity, but it is not. They open themselves to the compulsion to speak and do so without thinking of the consequences. Confident behavior is not about that.
Being more secure does not mean doing or saying the first thing that comes to mind without stopping for a second to comprehend the situation. It is about acting in a way in which you take control and become more responsible for yourself, and yes, more assertive.
Assertiveness is an aspect of communication that consists of defending your rights, expressing your opinions, and making honest suggestions. Without falling into aggressiveness or passivity, you can respect those around you and your own needs.
Being assertive is crucial because it changes the perception others have of us. A person that acts in an insecure manner does not create trust in others. People who show determination and confidence in their presence convey those feelings to those around them.
How To Be More Assertive
Here we go through a few ideas on how to be more assertive and improve your communication skills:
- Learn to say no. If you don’t know how to say no, it will be tough for you to set your limits and refuse requests. Sometimes saying no to others is about keeping a yes to yourself.
- Start small. If you are one of those who find it hard to set limits for others, try small things to gain confidence. When you get to practice and security, try more challenging situations.
- People don’t read your mind. If you are letting pass, you might be taking your life in the opposite direction of what you want in your life. It is important to speak your mind because others do not have the power to read your mind to know what is wrong with you or what you expect from them, no matter how obvious it may seem to you.
- Expressing yourself makes it easier for others, too, because they know where they stand with you. They have a clearer idea of your likes, dislikes.
- Make clear what you want. If you focus only on expressing your feelings, you miss something fundamental: what you want. If you are sad, upset, unmotivated, or angry, it is ok to say it, but what do you want to achieve with that information? Think carefully about what you want because we often have emotions that we do not know where they come from and why.
You do not need to feel overwhelmed. If you are too nervous, you will have even more doubts about your actions. Focus on a strategy that may help you with situations that seem particularly challenging.
- Sandwich technique. This technique consists of inserting the complaint, opinion, request, or need between two positive sentences. For example, imagine you want to tell your mother that you don’t want her to show up unannounced at your house. We could say something along the lines of, “Mom, I love being with you and having you come and see us. When you want to come home, let us know beforehand in case we have made plans or are not at home. We will have a great time when you come”.
- Breathe before reacting. Many times we respond with very intense emotions, and there is no filter there. We get what we want to say in the worst way, with an excessive rage that sweeps wherever it goes. To have more control over your words, take a few deep breaths and try to calm yourself before reacting. If necessary, go to another room or leave the place if you are outraged. When you are calmer, try to see what you want to say and how.
- Be direct and concise. If you try to give a lot of explanations, you will feel like drowning. It will seem that you are looking for an excuse. Be direct, concrete, with the necessary information, and ready. You don’t have to justify your opinion or decision. You can teach it before or write it so that it comes out more naturally.
- Avoid value judgments. Expose the facts without evaluations. When we focus on judgments or personal qualifications, it is easier for us to hurt others.
- Use the first person. In your message, it is better that you focus on yourself than on the other. For example, someone asks you for something at an inappropriate time for you. Instead of telling him how unethical he is for asking you for something like that in that situation, you can say, “I’m sorry, but this is not a good time for me right now. Why don’t you ask Maria if she can?” This answer is both a “No” and a possible solution.
What Your Body Says
With our body, we also speak; we accompany our words with gestures that highlight our message. Your body posture must show the security you want to express if you stay upright and keep eye contact. Your face must convey positivity or neutrality.
Owning Your Reality
We can experience a very different world. It may sound like a slogan, but it is already part of our experience. We grew out of many situations along with our lives in which it seemed like nothing changed until something happened. We happened; we moved forward and found a way through, and just like that, reality felt undeniably different.
The tools to help us become better at those changes are available to anyone and were tested over time. I am talking about meditation, visualization, affirmations, and energy therapies, all of which produce excellent results worldwide. Successful athletes, business people, and professionals all have their approach to handling their minds and reality by combining the methods mentioned above or engaging in at least one of them.
A spiritual practice that involves us with our reality puts us at the center of our fate. We cannot control all the factors and be sure of the results we will get, but as the Nordic tradition indicates, destiny is a fabric we are knitting right now, consciously and unconsciously.
We will find calm with meditation, but keep our efforts directed at our goals with visualization, and through affirmations, we can learn to remain strong no matter what. The type of results and the feedback we will get from such a change in our behavior will be surprising, motivating, and empowering.
A Crystal Practice
We can find crystals for self-doubt, or protection, or abundance, or many other needs, and the way to implement them into our lives is also quite diverse.
For instance, you might find that it works for you to place them in different spaces in your home or workplace, wearing them in beads and ornaments or meditating with them. A Crystal Practice
When talking about quartz crystals, we have seen that you can use them in different ways, such as placing them in different spaces in your home or workplace, wearing them in beads and ornaments, or meditating with them.
Finding A New Friend
Finding your crystal, or crystals for self-doubt requires a bit of intuition. We like to connect to the crystals that we take home because they will be our roommates in a way. So personal connection is essential. This brief list will give you an idea of what specific qualities you want to pick a crystal according to the qualities you will most likely find in it.
- Citrine: is the crystal for the solar plexus chakra, and this chakra is where will, inner strength, and determination reside.
- Imperial Topaz: recharges optimism, brings charisma while keeping you in sync with the universe. It is a reminder of our divine nature. It is one of the best because it serves the personality and also cares for the spirit.
- Lapis Lazuli: helps us deal with stress and opens our hearts to spiritual realities, self-knowledge, and self-expression.
- Black Tourmaline: guards our energy body and protects us in other aspects as well. It brings balance and power to the first chakra, which sustains the life of the body.
- Hematite: is harmony for the body, mind, and spirit. It brings balance into your life and increases self-esteem and the survival instinct.
Once we got home with our new crystals, we need to cleanse them by leaving them on a sea salt bed or soaking them in salted water for a day. Others leave their stones for a bit while under running water, visualizing a white light that takes away all foreign energies that may have attached to it.
Please keep in mind that all the crystals I mentioned can get wet. But there are others for which water is harmful (you can bury those in dry earth for a day).
Once your crystals are already clean, choose which one for this first meditation. It is best, in this case, to connect with one at a time so that you can relate with the stone more profoundly.
We can begin meditating with crystals for self doubt or increase confidence in many ways, but taking care of the meditation space should be our first step.
Ensure that you will be undisturbed for a few minutes and move anything that might be on the way. You will need to sit, maybe on a yoga mat or a cushion or zafu on the floor. It is up to you, but find a position in which you are sitting with your back straight.
To start this meditation:
- Make yourself comfortable in a meditation posture on the cushion or zafu.
- Breath at your average pace, but bring the air to your abdomen to better fill your lungs (shallow breathing happens in your chest and is not as healthy)
- Hold the crystal between your hands and look at it. Make this a moment of contemplation; this means: do not focus on the words that may appear in your head, just be present.
- Allow the crystal to draw you in, allow your energy to mix with the power it emanates.
- You may get impressions, ideas, or feelings. You can write those down to make this a learning process. If daydreaming happens, also take note of what happens; it may prove important.
Crystals Around you
When you start working with crystals for self-doubt, healing, or to increase your intuition, for abundance… you will learn a lot about yourself in that process. Raising your awareness of the crystals’ energies gives you a better insight into many other aspects of your life and improves your communication with others. Crystals exist as a reservoir of knowledge and power, and even when we might focus on a specific side of our lives that we need to change, they will answer, connecting us to the great potential that is already in us. Their power of transmutation is immense, and it just takes a sincere intent to see excellent results.